MY PRAYER

Have you ever taken the time to figure out what your greatest request is? It is not unusual for me to have a whole laundry list of things that I come to God with when I pray. Like dirty laundry, I want God to clean up the mess, but only in a way that agrees with my desires. I am so selfish, and I imagine you are selfish also. When I was young, I loved looking at the Sears and Roebuck Christmas catalog. I could find something on every page that I wanted. If my parents had ever asked me to pick out just the one thing I wanted, it would have taken me hours to figure out the irreducible minimum. I could go to God with a long list of things I want Him to fix in my present situation. I want him to take the pain away from my back, from my ribs, take the sensation of pins sticking me in the night away and take away those sleepless nights when you just can’t get comfortable. I want to be able to walk fast and run, I want to stand up without pain, and I wish not to be tired all the time. When I look at my list of requests, and I narrow it down to the irreducible minimum, that request says, “I want to be faithful through this journey.” Pain is just the now, but faith is for eternity. I want others to see that you can trust God when things are difficult and inconvenient.

Humbled

In my life, I have always tried to take care of myself. If I could do a job, I would do it. If it needed to be lifted, I would try and do it. If something needed to be done for the group, I would figure out how to take care of it. Like most Texans, I thought my stubbornness was an attribute, not a weakness. The truth of the matter is that my stubbornness was just selfishness in a macho set of clothes. Recently I have had to humble myself and ask for help. Monday, my macho self showed up, and I ended up straining my back. If you have ever had somebody put a knife in your back and turn it wildly, you understand the pain. So, Tuesday, I asked Melinda to carry my bag to the car because I could not. Wednesday, I asked Donita to help me take off my coat since I could not do it myself. Finally, Julie went to the store and bought me a cane to get up and down and walk with less pain. I am learning that God has surrounded me (and you) with all of the help we need to live the life He wants us to live. A life that glorifies Him and depends on His provisions. Humility is seldom anyone's first choice, but in the upside-down nature of the Kingdom of God, it is the best choice. P.S. on November 16th, I hope to give everyone a definite name for the illness.

When God Shows Off

This past Sunday, Tim read a letter from me to the congregation. In that letter, I let everyone know that I have been in pain for some time. Unfortunately, we do not know the problem, so I asked the congregation to pray that I will be faithful through the journey. When you start going to doctors, you keep going to doctors; at least, that is the way it seems. After many tests, we have eliminated some of the scary things that take up space in your mind. However, I still have tests in front of me and appointments that will take up much of my time. Last May, I asked Trey Morgan to be the speaker at our “Mans Day.” Little did I know that God was already putting blessings in my path. Trey has been through many of the things I am facing, and he gave me great encouragement. I love watching God show off. I look forward to seeing the presence of God throughout this entire journey. Blessing In Him J. Tom Washburn

I Trust God

The new ring tone on my phone is “I still have Joy.” That is the message I want everyone to hear. Unfortunately, we have only eliminated possibilities despite going through several tests (no real pain in the test). We know some things that are not causing my symptoms and pain, but we are still unsure what is causing the symptoms and pain. I have been referred to the Walker Cancer Center. Some of the monsters in front of me have vanished, but some of them remain. The only thing I know for sure is that Jesus is going to walk with me through – whatever. He has also given me Julie and a great family who will stand with me. Today is a day I hurt, and that is ok. I will be sure and enjoy the days I don’t hurt. Funny, the things we take for granted. I don’t want to take for granted the presence of Christ and the presence of the people He has placed in my life. In Him J. Tom Washburn

Unwanted News

On Sunday, October 10th, Julie and I were given some unwanted news. We were told that my health was not the best. Of course, nobody ever wants to hear that news, but it does no good to hide your head in the sand. I have been hurting for the past several months, but I just thought it was old age. Here are the facts that I know. 1. God is in control. 2. God will be with me through whatever happens. 3. Julie loves me and will stand by me. 4. We don't know, at this point, how bad or how good things are. 5. I trust God. On Tuesday, I told the staff most of the things that the medical report stated. Tomorrow I will see another Doctor. Today I will have more tests. I am still confident of the five things I know, and my prayer is this, "God help me be faithful and trust in you for the rest of my life." Amen

Letter to my boys

Dear Trey and Preston: I want you to know for sure that you have been loved your entire life. I know I am not perfect, but I am forgiven and more than anything else in all the world I want you to know the one who forgave me and the one who wants to forgive you. I want you to know Christ. Whenever you search for Him, you will find Him. Follow Him all the days of your life. Love your PaPa

The Greatest gift I can give my Grandchildren

Dear J.T., Avery, Emma, and Ella Rose I know you will receive all kinds of toys and clothes this Christmas that will ultimately end up in the back of your closet, and eventually, they will be thrown away. My dear grandchildren, there is one gift I hope you discover in your life that is not found under a tree. This gift will last a lifetime, and It will see you through every situation and every age in your life. I know your parents and Sunday school teachers will teach you the stories of Jesus, but I want you to learn more than the stories, I want you to know the heart of God, and I want you to know Emmanuel. “Immanuel, God with us” (Matt. 1:23). Immanuel is more than a name; it is a description of who He was, is, and will be for you. You are going to need Him more than you can ever imagine. “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! (Immanuel, Jesus Christ, has) overcome the world (John 16:33).” When the world, your friends, call you names and cast you out of their friend circle, remember the story of Zacchaeus. Remember how Jesus called him by name and remember that Jesus thought Zacchaeus was worth spending time with (Luke 19:1-10). When the world thinks you are untouchable, unworthy, and unwanted, remember the leper, and remember how Jesus reached out His hand and touched the untouchable (Matt. 8:1-3). When you're broken, guilty, and humiliated by your shame, remember the woman who was caught in her sin and was brought to Jesus. Everyone wanted to destroy her. Jesus rescued her and forgave her (John 8:1-11). When you are overwhelmed by the storms of life, remember The One who can walk on water and calm your storm with just a word (Mark 6:47-52, Mark 4:35-41). When you are heartbroken and unable to hold back the tears from your loss, turn to the Christ of compassion. Remember that when Jesus saw Mary weeping for Lazarus, Jesus also wept (John 11:33-35). When Jesus saw the widow of Nain morning over her son, his heart went out to her (Luke 7:11-13). Know this, my dear grandchildren, when times are hard, and it looks like the entire world is against you, Immanuel, God is with you. You are not alone. I want you to know that Christ, The One who is the very heart of God. As you grow older, there will come a day when you realize the full weight of your sin. Guilt will try and make a home in your heart. When that day comes, remember the gift that God gave you so many years ago. God gave you, His one and only Son so that you don’t have to live in your guilt and brokenness. Remember the words Christ spoke on the cross “Father forgive them” (Luke 23:34). Freedom from guilt, the forgiveness of sin, Immanuel, this is the gift of God. Unlike some of the gifts you will receive this Christmas, the gift of God is not forced upon you. It is not like some of the sweaters and socks you will receive through the years. The gift of God is a choice that is waiting for you. My prayer for you is that you will find the gift given to you before you were ever born. Born in Bethlehem, crucified outside Jerusalem, Jesus is not found in a tomb. He is revealed in the pages of The Book and the heart of the seeker. He rose from the grave, conquered death, and showed His power to give life, forgive sin, and transform the believer. I look forward to the day when you accept the gift and enter into the covenant with Christ through the waters of baptism. I look forward to the day when we hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matt. 25) You will always be my grandchild. I look forward to the day when you will be a child of God. In Him Papaw Tom